Here are a few tips to help you along your journey when you face from sexual struggles:
Seek out God
This probably seems obvious. But what isn’t always obvious is that we really can invite God into the struggle with us. Sin can cause us to feel like God is absent, but He remains present with us. Acknowledge this and rest in His presence. He is our ultimate healer. Pursue Him in community, not just when you are alone. God uses other people to speak into our lives.
Develop a support system
In our battles with sin and addiction, secrecy and shame are our biggest enemies. When we feel like we have done something wrong, our first instinct is often to hide (see Adam and Eve story). It is important to build a support system where you can be open, honest and vulnerable. This isn’t always easy for sure. A group like WGA is a great place to start learning how to share and be transparent.
Good news/Bad news: accountability is forever! As soon as we begin to feel we are strong enough to stand on our own, warning lights should be going off. This doesn’t mean we can’t get better in our struggles, but we can’t out grow our need for being known and cared for by others.
Be kind to yourself
It can be difficult to do so, but we must forgive ourselves for slipping up. We will make mistakes, but we don’t have to get lost in the shame and condemnation that we heap upon ourselves. It is shame that often keeps us trapped in the cycle of addiction. Repent and move on as quickly as you can. Another good reason to have a support system in place is because your friends will reflect back to you the reality of who you are, not the garbage of self-hatred and shame we often heap on.
Also an important aspect of being kind to yourself is to take care of your physical and emotional needs. Make sure you get enough rest. Eat a well-balanced diet. Move your body. If you are chronically feeling depressed or tired, perhaps a visit to the doctor is in order. It may be time to see a counselor. There may be something going on in your body or emotions that a professional can assess and help with a plan to move forward.
Pursue other interests
Addiction or intense struggle can make our world seem very small. You are much more than your struggles. Consider: “What else do I like to do?” Are there hobbies or interests that have fallen by the wayside? Practice these, even if you don’t want to. This is another way to develop a support system of people with similar interests.
If given the choice between doing nothing/being bored, we will gravitate towards what seems to be interesting (temptation, addiction, etc…). Give yourself a fighting chance by developing passions for other things.
Celebrate your victories
Make sure to acknowledge the successes you have. Even is success is defined as one day, when you indulged everyday previously. Addiction/patterns of behavior don’t develop overnight. It might take a while to lay something down permanently. We should acknowledge growth as it is happening.
Be encouraged! Temptation is normal. We have choices, even when it may seem otherwise. God is with us and He will lead us to places and relationships to help.
In the spring of 1995, the conflict Roger felt between his faith and his sexuality, as well as an addiction to pornography, led him to WGA. His personal journey has provided him unique insights into sexuality and the pain of adversity, which he shares through his testimony, facilitation of small groups, writing and public speaking.
Roger began working with WGA in October of 1996 as the Assistant office Manager. Since that time, he has worn many hats and served in several different positions, including Assistant Program Director and Operations Director. In April of 2007, Roger assumed the position of Executive Director.
Roger attended West Texas A&M University, where he studied Music Business. Much of his training has been “on the job,” where he was mentored by the ministry’s Founder, Mary Heathman, and the Program Director, Scott Kingry. He holds a BA from West Texas A&M University.
Roger, his wife Jill, and their daughter Julia and son William, attend Celebration Community Church where Jill serves as Senior Pastor.
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