Pornography is a huge problem today. According to a report put together by Covenant Eyes, both men and women are using porn:
- The following percentages of men say they view pornography at least once a month: 18-30-year-olds, 79%; 31-49-year-olds, 67%; 50-68-year-olds, 49%
- The following percentages of women say they view pornography at least once a month: 18-30-year-olds, 76%; 31-49-year-olds, 16%; 50-68-year-olds, 4%
When you are struggling, it can sometimes be difficult to know what to do to break the cycle. Here are “5 Essentials” to get you started.
Talk to God
This is the obvious place to begin. So many times we try to tackle our problems on our own. Even though we may know that God accepts us and loves us in the midst of our sin, we find ourselves wanting to clean up our act before approaching him. Talk to God about the fears, the shame, and the frustration with failed attempts at making different/better choices.
Tell someone else
I’m not going to lie to you; this step is the most difficult. One of the most convincing lies we believe is that no one will love us if they know the truth about our struggle. When we live in secrecy and shame, we are unable to receive love from those who truly do care. The only way to combat this is to bring things into the light. Be selective in choosing someone to share this with. A trusted friend or a pastor can be a great place to start.
Seek out a counselor
Despite our best efforts, we sometimes get stuck and don’t know what to do next. A counselor can be a great resource for uncovering what is blocking our forward motion. They have an arsenal of tools to help you get to the bottom of your struggles.
Join a group
There really is nothing quite like sitting down with a group of other people who understand the very thing you are struggling with. Yes it can be scary, but the realization that you are not alone is powerful. Here’s some info on how to get involved with WGA’s groups.
Find your passion(s)
One of the saddest things about addiction is that it robs us of joy. It doesn’t “stay in its box” very well either. Before we realize what has happened, the interests, hobbies, and things we were once passionate about have fallen by the wayside. Or, we have never even discovered those things to begin with. In the empty spaces created by leaving pornography behind, take some time to explore who you are and what gives you life.
As always, I would love to offer what help I can. If you have a question or need to process how to get started, please feel free to reach out.
In the spring of 1995, the conflict Roger felt between his faith and his sexuality, as well as an addiction to pornography, led him to WGA. His personal journey has provided him unique insights into sexuality and the pain of adversity, which he shares through his testimony, facilitation of small groups, writing and public speaking.
Roger began working with WGA in October of 1996 as the Assistant office Manager. Since that time, he has worn many hats and served in several different positions, including Assistant Program Director and Operations Director. In April of 2007, Roger assumed the position of Executive Director.
Roger attended West Texas A&M University, where he studied Music Business. Much of his training has been “on the job,” where he was mentored by the ministry’s Founder, Mary Heathman, and the Program Director, Scott Kingry. He holds a BA from West Texas A&M University.
Roger, his wife Jill, and their daughter Julia and son William, attend Celebration Community Church where Jill serves as Associate Pastor.
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