40th Anniversary Reflections: How God Used an 80’s R&B Group to Change My Life Forever

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.”  Jeremiah 29:11

An Important Question

I am all about stories which have some sort of time travel or time-line disruption in them. I recall vividly as a kid, watching the 1960 “Time Machine” on Saturday afternoon’s “Sci-Fi Flix”.  It was fascinating seeing H.G. Wells’ Victorian inventor whiz thousands of years into the future.  Remember he saved the peaceful Eloi people from the nasty underground Morlock race--who occasionally had them delivered up as food in a future Uber Eats kind of way?

Another favorite movie from 1998, was “Sliding Doors” with Gwyneth Paltrow.  She plays Helen, a Londoner whose life splits into two parallel realities based on whether she catches a subway train or misses it after being fired from her job. In one timeline, she catches the train, finds her boyfriend cheating, and starts a new life. In the other, she misses the train and remains unaware of his infidelity.  After watching the DVD recently (yep, I still do those) I pondered the question: “Can a single moment in time change the trajectory of your life?”

Tracks Here I Come

Speaking of time machines, it was 1985 and with a milestone 21st birthday, I was contemplating a big decision.  Is it time to venture out to a gay bar?  I had been mulling this over for years and was finally old enough to pull the trigger.  There was only one problem—where were the gay bars (this is pre-internet)?  Hmm, perhaps I could change the Gay & Lesbian Center’s phone number to my parents’ home? Well...that’s one idea.

Fast forward—I did find them. There I was standing in Tracks with a cigarette in one hand and a Long Island Iced Tea in the other. It was Denver’s biggest, most popular gay bar at the time. I had successfully snuck out for the evening, covering my tracks (LOL) telling everyone I was with someone else. It was thrilling being with people who were like me for the first time. Just as I was contemplating, “I’m here, what in the world do I do now?” a guy asked me to dance.

So, you know when you’re dancing with someone and it gives you an opportunity to look them over and wonder if you’d like to spend your entire life with them?  Yeah, this was so not it.  I really didn’t want to chat or share a drink or even barely finish this dance—(he might have been thinking the same thing).  Suddenly the song changed and “Rhythm of the Night” by Debarge began to play (here).  “Oh, I love this song” I thought, “I’ll just finish this dance and then sneak off.”

Avoiding my partner a bit, I turned around and kept dancing, suddenly facing a young woman. Apparently, we both liked the song and riffed on some dance moves together until it ended. Long story short, her name was Pauline and we hung out for the rest of the evening as she gave me the lowdown on proper gay bar etiquette.  With a promise to meet same time, same place next week, I drove home very happy, yet with only one disappointment. “Really?  I’ve waited my whole life to meet the man of my dreams---and I meet a Lesbian???”

Tracks Round Two

Back to Tracks again holding another cig and Long Island waiting to meet Pauline. It was a crowded night, and I wondered if I’d recognize her after such a brief meeting and a long week behind us. I finally found her on the patio hanging out with another young woman. Her name was Carol and Pauline had met her just the week before we did. They would end up dating off and on over the coming months. T

Through our growing friendship, I would come to find out Carol was a Christian. “Oh, I used to be one of those,” I confided, “It didn’t seem to really work for me.” Yet, Carol was genuinely struggling with her faith and sexuality. She very much wanted Jesus in her life but wasn’t quite sure if being in a sexual relationship with another woman was God’s best for her.  I was completely baffled, “You’re gay, what other option do you have?” I answered in all my 21-year-old wisdom.  

WGA Here I Come

Carol’s conflict would eventually be the demise of her and Pauline’s “girlfriend” relationship, but we would see her occasionally since we all stayed friends.  Little did I know, God would be using Carol to shift my life in some dramatic ways.  During a season of unemployment, in all her HR kindness, she helped me get a job as a bank teller (and not a very good one) at Bank Western.

It was at that particular branch where I met Mark, the Christian man who would eventually bring me back into relationship with Jesus. Carol and I ran into each other again through banking circles.  “Hey guess what?” I asked her with a smile on my face, “I’m a Christian again.” She equally lit up and in another Godly moment said, “I’d like to take you to a wonderful support group.  They help people deal with faith and same-sex attraction.”  Honestly, I really needed it, wondering how I was going to navigate these huge pieces of myself into the future. Soon I would attend Where Grace Abounds for the first time in the fall of 1988. The rest is history.

Back to our question. Can a single moment in time, like dancing to a Debarge song, change the trajectory of your life? Bring Jesus back, rearrange your relationships, mental and spiritual health and vocation? When our Heavenly Father is in charge (see above scripture) offering us a bright hope and a future, you betcha.

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