A WOMAN’S TESTIMONY

Oprah Winfrey once said, “The whole point of being alive is to evolve into the complete person you were intended to be.” Though growing up as a child this statement would have no meaning, but as an adult, it is a truth I try to live by today.

I was born the youngest of four children and raised in an alcoholic/abusive military home. Early in childhood I always felt insecure or had low self-esteem. It was not long in my youth that I constantly needed love and attention and tried to get it from female teachers in school. I always wanted and needed love and nurture from them, but never understood why.

I was suicidal and started inflicting wounds upon myself in my early teens. It was also around this time a male athlete tried to rape me, and two years later, a Christian vice principal of a high school molested me. While in my sophomore year in high school, I tried to commit suicide.

After that unsuccessful attempt, I decided to get involved with sports in school and joined the women’s soccer team. It was here I met a few young Christians on my team and they soon invited me to one of their bible studies. I had little or no trust, but was very hungry for acceptance and love, so I went. I spent the last remaining high school years in bible study, but struggled constantly to know God personally. It was also around this time I was exploring my sexuality and recognized I had attractions for the same sex.

After graduation, I spent the next few years in women’s gay bars and or in the gay community. Here I felt relieved to be myself, but it did not take long for me to recognize my constant hunger for nurture, love, and acceptance. I felt like I was starving and I was not finding the love I really needed. One day I sat in a gay bar and started to cry. Here I started to pray and ask God to help me and to show me his love and who He really is or who Jesus really is. I left the gay bars and started the long journey of recovery. I attended church, joined a bible study, and joined another study group called the Twelve Steps of Spiritual Growth.

A couple of years later, a close Christian mentor who knew my story, told me about Where Grace Abounds Ministry. I have now been a part of WGA for twelve years. In that time at WGA, God has shown who He really is with His true nurture, love, and acceptance. His mercy, grace, and truth have brought hope and light in my life. He has set my feet upon rock and continues to evolve me as a complete person He intended me to be.