The Gift of Disillusionment

“So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal” 2Corinthians 4:18 (NIV).

Disillusionment is, not surprisingly, the loss of an illusion. When we have a belief or idea about a person, event, or even God, that is challenged or proven false, we can become completely disillusioned. The old saying, “the truth hurts,” takes on new meaning when a belief seems to crumble in our hands.

As we raised our children, my husband and I were very intentional to spend time talking about and to God with our children. My “illusion” was that because we were so intentional, God would honor that, and my children would follow Him. My disillusionment began to grow when my children began to make their own choices. The truth is that God gives each of us free choice. That truth shattered my illusions. God doesn’t operate by our rules or follow our expectations.

So, how can disillusionment be considered a gift? Because disillusionment, should at least, free us from our illusions, it may be our first step toward freedom. Illusions hold us captive, but truth frees us. However, encountering truth is often painful. It’s hard to give up those illusions we nurtured. When we initially begin to realize the truth, we sometimes recoil and don’t want to acknowledge it. Truth may unravel everything we have believed. We may feel that even God has abandoned us until we realize that it was not God, but instead our “image” of God that left us.

How do we overcome disillusionment? First, allow yourself the space to grieve. God understands and can handle our emotions. Be willing to be radically honest with God. At least 73 of the 150 psalms are laments! David experienced plenty of disillusionments through his life and made a record of them for us!

Second, beware of the temptation to numb the pain. Many times, we resort to unhealthy coping mechanisms. As we attempt to numb pain, we end up numbing everything. Any short-term benefits are canceled by long-term consequences.

Isolation is a common response to disillusionment, but healing rarely happens when we isolate. God created us to be in community. Invite someone into your process. Find someone else with a similar “limp” who can honestly identify with what you are experiencing. God will provide that person if you ask Him.

When we have determined that something is going to look a certain way and it doesn’t go according to our plan, we tend to think that God hasn’t answered at all. Instead, we need to ask God to reveal to us what “new thing” might be happening. Ask God to show you things that are positive around you. Instead of asking “Why?” I have begun to ask “What?” “What does God want me to learn through this time?” Simply by changing focus, I am able to begin building again on the truth.

Try to view waiting as a time of preparation, not inconvenience. Almost every scriptural story has an element of waiting for God to shape and mold a person. Valleys prepare and equip God’s people for what is to come. Sometimes it takes years to be able to make sense of the valleys we have walked through. When we try to rush the process, we miss the work God is doing right here, right now, in our lives.

The big question is: Do we want to let go of our illusions so we can live in truth and trust? Each of us must make a choice. Will we or won’t we trust and follow God? Our choice to fix our eyes on the eternal, not the temporary, will guide us into a deeper understanding of the truth that God desires for us to experience.

Lord, help us as we feel disillusioned by those things we believed in. Help us to look to You for the absolute truth of each situation. Help us to rest in the knowledge that You will carry and care for us as we wrestle with letting go of our illusions. Let us fix our eyes on all that you are doing, even in the midst of these challenging times.

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Editor’s Note: This article appears as a devotion in Prayers of Hope, WGA’s devotional for parents. If you’d like to read more like this, check out the book here.