Mental Health and Me

Editor’s Note: This is an article by a friend of WGA (Rebecca) who has struggled with mental health issues for most of her life. We wanted to share her story with you, as it offers a glimpse into the experiences of someone living with bipolar disorder. We encounter a number of mental health issues with the men and women we work with at WGA. Please join us in praying for these dear ones.

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I have had quite the journey with mental illness. I was diagnosed with bipolar when I was 25. I am now 68. I have lived most of my life with this. When I had had the disease about 5 years, there was a combination of drugs that kept me stable for over 20 years until I was 50.

Currently I have been on a unstable roller coaster. I get depressed for about 3-4 weeks. This includes my isolating myself totally from the outside world. I don’t leave the house. I don’t leave my bed. I don’t shower but once/week. I cancel all appointments and primarily read and sleep. My husband has been faithful to me. He takes over making the meals, doing the laundry, etc. After this period, I become upbeat. It is not a mania, but I feel normal. During this time, I repair all the cancellations that I did when I wasn’t feeling good. I go about my normal routine. I start making meals and doing the laundry. I get out and drive our car around.

I have told people that I’m thankful I’m bi-polar, because that means I have ups and downs, not just downs. I have worked with my psychiatrist and she has tried new meds, or new dosages to try and stabilize me. So far nothing has stopped the cycle that I find myself in. The up periods have given me a new perspective. I have more joy in the mundane things of everyday. My “up” periods last around

5-6 weeks. There usually is no reason for me to get depressed. I get depressed on bright sunny days, as well as cloudy days. I rationalize my staying in bed. Michael usually can’t motivate me to get up.

I have a trip to Scotland coming up the end of the month. This is outside the 5-6 week window. I pray that I can stay “up” to enjoy our trip!! Being bi-polar has become such a part of me that it’s hard to remember life before it. I have been on medications since the beginning, also under the care of a psychiatrist and counselor most of the time. Lithium has been a stabilizing drug for me. Unfortunately, it affects my kidneys in a negative way, so currently I’m taking Lithium every other day. My psychiatrist and counselor tell me to get out into the sunshine when I’m down. I am down enough that it is impossible for me to go out in my robe and sit in the backyard in the sunshine.

For those of you suffering from some form of mental illness, I will say that my faith in the Lord has helped to stabilize me. During my depression, I don’t pray, read scripture, or anything. I think I am angry at God. Another help has been to let people around me know that I suffer with this. They help me and pray for me when I’m down. I don’t allow visitors, but they text me, and I take phone calls during this time. My psychiatrist and counselor help, but it is my friends and family that really make the difference when I’m down. So, try to look for the silver lining even though there feels like there is darkness all around. Share your burden with the people that surround you. I will be thinking of you during this time!!

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