Do you know if your kid will say, “No!” to pornography? Afraid to have that conversation? You are not alone.
Most parents know that they should talk to their children; they even plan to do so, “when the right time comes.” But then, time marches on and, suddenly it seems, “the talk” is irrelevant and the parent realizes, “Oh, no! I missed it; it’s way past time.”
One parent remembers sitting down with their 11 yr old to talk with her about sex. The mother was prepared, having researched helpful resources. But Mom was nervous, wondering if she was opening this up too early. Fear poked at her mind and heart; would this information create an inordinate curiosity and propel the little girl right into that which she most wanted to protect her?
A knowing look crept over the girl’s face in response to her mother’s opening words. “Oh,” she said, “I know all about that, Eddie told me He showed me some pictures.” (Eddie was a neighborhood boy, about the same age.)
Can you imagine parents’ emotions in this situation? Can you relate to their hearts sinking when they realize that the prep talk they wanted to have with their child had to take a back seat, to now focus on damage control?
Author, Marilyn Evans, founder of Defend Young Minds, refers to a study by researcher, Jessica Zurcher. Evans writes:
“A case study of 33 different families reveals that that even parents who know they should talk to their middle-schoolers about pornography are not having those conversations. So why is this?”
There are a number of reasons besides fear that keep parents from preparing their children. Evans describes five obstacles parents often need to overcome and solutions. She develops them in her article: “How to Talk to Kids about Porn: Research Reveals 5 Obstacles to Overcome.”
What can parents do to prepare their children for the time when they first face the decision—will they decide to say “No” to porn? Zurcher’s research shows that this moment comes way before most parents believe it will?
Though WGA cannot endorse any resource completely, I am impressed with one website. I have been following Marilyn Evans and the organization she founded, “Defending Young Minds” for over a year now. Her sources and approach, her advice to parents, is right on target and seems to closely align with Biblical principles.
Check out their website. Defend Young Minds™️ | Kids can learn to reject pornography Let us know what you think.
In the meantime, the staff and leadership of WGA are praying for our fellow believers, for all parents, for their children, that the Lord Who created us will work His original intent into the lives of parents and children as we follow Him; that we will be Light in our society, leading the way to the healthy sexuality and relationships for which we were created. May it be so, Lord.
Mary Heathman
Founding Director
Mary often characterizes herself as “a seeker of Truth” and has a long-standing fascination with human behavior and motivation. Her education consists of lay and discipleship counseling, independent study about the integration of psychology and theology, counseling and human sexuality. She also holds a BS in Human Services and an MA in Psychology from Regis University.
Mary attends a Friends (Quaker) Church.
Make a Difference in Someone's Life
If you enjoy reading WGA’s blogs and would like to show your support, please consider making a donation. Where Grace Abounds is a 501(c)3 non-profit organization. The majority of services, including support groups and discipleship counseling, are provided free of charge. Your financial gifts help to cover the costs associated with offering a free program to those who seek WGA’s services.